Kingpyn Boxing highlights and results: Daniella Hemsley flashes crowd, tournament finals set (2024)

Kingpyn Boxing has its tournament finals set on both the men’s and women’s sides,

On the men’s side, King Kenny beat Whinderssson Nunes on scores of 50-44 from all three judges, and AnEson Gib beat Jarvis on scores of 48-47, 49-46, and 49-46. I didn’t see that fight being close at all.

For the women, 6ar6ie beat Emily Brooke on scores of 49-46, 50-45, 50-45, and Jully Poca beat Elle Brooke on scores of 49-46, 49-46, 50-45.

King Kenny put on what the commentators hyped as maybe the greatest performance in the history of influencer boxing, but even more than normal boxing — which is bad enough with this sort of thing — these are paid hype men, not actual analysts.

That said, and I haven’t seen all of the “influencer boxing” out there — also, I thought they were calling it “crossover” now because all these people are definitely not “influencers” — but this really was a truly dominant performance in a way that goes beyond, like, someone who totally doesn’t know what they’re doing got knocked out in one by someone who kinda does.

Kenny just completely toyed with Whindersson in this fight, and nothing Nunes tried worked at all.

AnEsonGib was just several levels above Jarvis. If you remember Gib’s boxing debut against Jake Paul in early 2020, you wouldn’t recognize him today. He’s miles beyond what he was then, as he’s a prime example of one of the people who did this, took a loss, and went, “I can be better than that.”

I’m not saying he’s “good professional boxer” good, but he’s clearly put time and effort into learning boxing, and physically he’s a really thick, solid 168 lbs now. He made Jarvis look like Paul made Gib look three-and-a-half years ago, basically, other than not getting the stoppage. He cuts a good pace, constantly offensive pressure, and he just flat knows that he’s better than the people he’s fighting. Give Jarvis credit for hanging in there for the distance, and he did come in there to fight, he just found out pretty fast the level difference.

“6ar6ie” is, of course, a play on the classic and very popular children’s doll, GarGie. Personally I’m not sure if the “evil Twitch goth” thing comes through with only two 6’s, but I am not an Influencer. Anyway, she won pretty clearly, really no question.

Poca’s win over the other Brooke was a really fun fight. For what it is, etc, etc, I feel like I have to say that every time because if I don’t someone will be like “NO THEY’RE BAD AT BOXING!” Yeah, man, that should go without saying. And here I am having a conversation with nobody. Myself, I guess. But a very entertaining battle, no question.

Undercard results and highlights

• Kiefer Crosbie vs Aaron Chalmers (48-45, 50-45, 50-45): Judges “A” and “B” apparently don’t know about 10-8 rounds. Judge “C” may be lacking in the normal standards of something else. Anyway, Chalmers got knocked down and out-fought and lost.

• Cian Cowley UD-4 Connor Tierney (39-37, 39-37, 39-37): Dublin crowd was pretty much into everything here and they really got into this one.

• Daniella Hemsley UD-5 Mrs. Danielka (or) Ola (48-47, 48-47, 49-46): They never really seemed sure what they wanted to call the lady who lost so I’ll list both names. Apparently she was on Polish “Love Island.” Hey, man, it was an entertaining scrap; I mean, you know, sloppy boxing and a very low level, but they brought it. And Hemsley flashed the crowd after. Look, I’m far from a prude or some sort puritan, but is this really where we want this all to go? Oh, some of you are saying, rather emphatically, “Yes, absolutely.” Well, you can’t argue with the will of the people. Sign up for DAZN where you can occasionally see breasts that aren’t attached to a mediocre heavyweight! My personal feeling is that if you wanna git-r-done and git-em-out, go to BKFC, which is marketed quite exclusively for adults.

• Whitney Johns UD-5 Amber O’Donnell (50-45, 50-45, 50-45): Dominant performance from Johns.